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BREAKING SLY LYKA FOX: TRUST ME, I'M A FOX!
Fox Anchor
Tucker Tailson Chief Vixen Correspondent

Good evening, I'm Sly Lyka Fox, and welcome to Sly News - Trust me, I'm a fox! Where we're not afraid to dig up the truth, even if we have to bury it first!

TOTALLY REAL EXPERT
Expert Fox
Dr. Reynard Foxworth
Professional Opinion Haver
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TONIGHT ARE CHICKENS PLOTTING AGAINST FOXES? OUR INVESTIGATION AT 11
CRUCIX WIRE
• EXCLUSIVE: Local fox claims garbage cans are "too secure" • • STUDY: 9 out of 10 foxes prefer unguarded henhouses • • WEATHER: Partly cloudy with a chance of stealing eggs • • MARKETS: Chicken futures down, fox morale up • • OPINION: Why everything is the rabbits' fault • • ALERT: Missing: Journalistic integrity (If found, please ignore) •
VIEWER POLL
Should foxes guard henhouses?
YES, FREEDOM!
97%
NO (Wolf sympathiser)
3%
TODAY'S FEAR LEVEL
ORANGE ALERT
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